accomplished!
finally its off my chest.(:

funnily.
i like to see the marks.
i want it to scar so badly.
and i guess i just have to admit after all.
i've grown addicted to it.
very much addicted.

its like i get this adrenaline rush from it.
i like the feeling of it.
in the most sadistic screwed up sense,
i really really like pain.
a lot.

i've found my absolute best friend who will never do anything to hurt me.
its pain.
i can honestly say that i can really find comfort in pain.
irregardless of what everyone else says.
pain is what keeps me going.
my dammit love.

i tried.
honestly.
i tried not doing it.
but there was always this strong urge.
to feel the pain.
to watch the redness slowly appear.
and then when it finally faded away,
i wanted to do it again.

maybe one day i'll upgrade a little.
after all.
a few people have taught me many options to use.
im way screwed over my head.
and too sick and tired of the mess to care anymore.
5:36 PM
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