and i wonder what i'm waiting for.
what can i say i'm dumb that way.

dragging peichun with me was a brilliant idea.
i was left alone throughout.
which was fine by me really.
i'd rather be left alone if it means no counselling.
even if it was a complete waste of my time.
the 'counselling' always goes the same way.
in the end, it'll be entirely my fault.
so what's the damn point of bothering.

i've ran out of places to stone at.
i'm gonna try all the haunted places edward mentioned.
maybe i can scare myself to death.
that's painless.

home is currently hell.
i'm given the wonderful silent treatment.
i have to fight for my allowance everyday.
yay. mum. be a bitch.
then blame it all on me. again.
it's no big deal. really it isn't.
don't bother your fucking brain worrying.
you do it all the time.
sqdmates do it all the time.
everybody fucking does it to me.
it's so common.
why don't you just try something new though?

it's a simple concept really.
just use me. it's easy.
i'm always being used anyway.
for one thing or another.

i gave up. stop trying to kill me for that.
nobody bothered to stop me.
now it's too late.
so too bad.

my poor balloon's losing air.
i need to get it repumped.
but it's pointless.
you can pretend, but the underlying facts remain.
it's gonna die.
and i'd rather sooner than later.
4:30 PM
|