blah.
celesther just had to remind me.
i have to spend 3 days of retreat,
and 15 days of mission with that fucktard.
what the fucking hell.

one more time, i hear praises about his damn band.
and if he starts on the whole i'm better than you shit again,
i swear i'll take a leaf out of iggy's book,
and punch that sickening fucktard.
though i pity celesther.
she's the one who has to endure him now.
oh and poor denis.
who's being treated like shit.

and i'm still going to their gig.
-mutters.
i'm paying 12 bucks 'cause eugene asked.
though i'll probably get pissed upon seeing him.
blah.

i seem to have a fetish for abusing newly pierced areas.
i didn't realise the stupid earstick wasn't fully through till today.
had to get jannah to force it through again.
we looked sick.
but all the same, thanks a bunch babe.
it hurt like hell, but at least it's through.
i regret taking out the stud though.
oh well.
lesson learnt.
stop trying to be smart and taking out studs a day after you just pierce it.

i passed the bare minimum needed to get to sec4.
i don't dare show dad my ppr.
especially when i need money badly.
oh crap.

excess tmr.(:
finally, something to do with church that doesn't have him.
whoopeedoo.
i felt really bad about the way i'm treating him.
but thank god, i managed to squash those guilty feelings.
'cause he's being a complete fucking asshole now.
stupid poser.

i've been doing all the wrong things.
i need to wake up soon.
and get my act together.

eugene and i are trying to psycho nat to go study.
actually, she's just being fussy about the place.
eeyer.

it's amusing that syikin's too terrified to talk to me.
instead, she gets yati to be the middle person.
i know i'm notorious in the sqd for having a temper,
but this is pretty darn ridiculous.
you got something to say about my nose stud,
say it to my face.
don't ask others to say it to me.
'cause it'll just further tarnish my impression of you.
but you probably know already that i can't stand you.

i need study buddies.
this friday and saturday.
though actually sat's with ec and nat?
so just friday.
thursday's with iggy and maybe nana.
i wonder if i'll really study actually.
but frankly, i need to.

i've kinda got a job for november.(:
now i just need to find another one.
to supplement my pitiful bank acc.
eeyer.

a few more weeks and the school year will be over.
i can't wait actually.
i've never liked school.
and there's nobody i'll miss in school.
somehow, when i think of school,
it just brings back bad bad bad memories for me.
it just makes me want to cut.
school's a plain torture.
but when i think of church,
i can smile at least.

i realise eugene's pretty much like edward.
both of them are so similiar it gets scary sometimes.

that was then.
i would smile when you goofed.
i would cry when you fumed.
i would laugh when you preened.
times have changed though.
when you laugh, i frown.
when you cry, i sigh.
when you smile, i pout.
and no the last word wasn't supposed to be pout.
but i'm too lazy to find a substitution.
and that wasn't supposed to make sense either.

it's going to be goodbye soon.

edit.
my nose fucking hurts now.
shit shit shit triple fucking shit.
of all the freaking fucktards,
i have this huge urge to rub my nose.
but the stick will fall out.):
and then i will die trying to stick it back in.
i can't even take in a deep breath now.
oh bloody motherfucking shitheaded nonsense.
eeyer.

dear nose, please heal faster.
if i go for annual camp with you not healed,
i will die.
pretty please heal soon.

endedit.
9:15 PM
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