great, i just fought with them again.
brilliant way to get them to sign my ppr.
fuck.

anyways,
excess was awesome yesterday.
well, if you excuse the fact that i was tired as hell lah.
almost fell asleep on my bible.
HEH.

i told melvin and edward during the praying session thing.
shit fucking shit.
they were rather hilarious in persuading me however.
"don't i look trustworthy?" edward.
though melvin's reaction after was better.
"cut, as in you mean [does slashing action]"
edward looked... i don't know actually.
i was looking at my hand.
but thankyou.
and also for not shunning me after.

i'm having my bass lesson with edward on friday.
yay. he's offering to teach me anytime,
since he's free until april.
i swear, edward's a god.
hah.

'cause i was dead tired,
i kept talking rubbish during bible study.
"if love is supposed to be imperfect, what then is unconditional love that a parent is supposed to show to a child?" one of my dumbass questions.
"look at this way, parents expect the children to take care of them in future, so maybe that's why they shower love on their kids." melvin.
oh shocking revelation yesterday.
and here's something that's stuck in my mind.
"if any guy says he never watched porn before, dump him. he's lying." edward.

i surprised myself.
i managed to study half a chapter of bio with sarah.
studying with iggy tmr.
though frankly the chances of us stoning is higher.
oh well.
and then i'm mugging with eugene and nat.
gardens on sat.
i'm turning into a mugger.):

something happened today.
i just can't remember what.
blah.

oh yeah, i love bung.
babe, thankyou.(:
was pretty down during chinese, 'cause of something.
dear bung listened to my crap, and said the best phrase,
"youknowwhat, now i think its very fake. forget it ok."
love you tons babe.

and i must abstain from hersheys pies.
eating one every damn day is fattening.
and i'm too fat already.
dammit, i need to lose weight.

excess is just different.
i don't even know why.
they just are.
and somehow, they're more accepting.
well in a way.

i just remembered the conversation edward had with nicholas.
"i watched porn once, and hated it. i never watched it again." edward.
"man, you just went to the wrong website lah." nicholas.

dadeedum.
the week's ending, yay.
no acts29 this week.
'cause sherlyn wants us to study.
no cat class either.(:
i'm free beyond belief.
eeyer.

sometimes, i wish for stars.
i wish for a sleep that will never end.
other times, i'm happy to have lived.

i'm adapting.
that's good, right?
it means i'm slowly accepting it.
which also means i'll be fine soon.
which means i just need time.
loads of it.
which also kinda means i'm creating my own world.
in other words, i'm kinda living in self-denial.
though i'd like to take it as i'm just believing in what i want to believe in, so as to make this world seem a much better place.
8:53 PM
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