i have a bass guitar. yay.
fine, it isn't mine actually.
edward lent me one of his to practice.
what can i say, the lesson was awesome.

"i have this feeling you're going to like drinking." edward.
youknowwhat, somehow i think so too. oops.
i had a sip of beer.
it's awfully bitter, kinda bland and weird.
but strangely enough, it wasn't that bad.
it was kinda nice in fact.

and it is an alternative to cutting.
eeyer.
edward, hurry get back from camp!
i have no freaking idea how to use powertabs.
what the hell.

english paper was interesting.
the first question i saw was love.
wrote about that since it's like we talked about it on tuesday.
besides, its kinda like the only question i liked.
i've got this new mindset thing,
that it really doesn't matter if i pass or fail.
as long as i had fun and i enjoyed it, so be it man.

they're having quite an influence on me.
not that it's bad.
at least there's someone to talk to.
someone who won't shun me after or get mad at me.
'cause he has his own addiction as well.
he's addicted to alcohol, while i'm addicted to pain.
oh well.
i'd like to think mine's safer.

frankly, i feel happier.
if i compare to other days.
but i have seriously no idea if i'm better.
i'm still addicted to pain.
oh well.
no point wondering.
i'll either know it or i won't.
10:56 PM
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