i've bought the one thing in the world i swore never to buy.
i'm so sorry tong.
i'm too lazy to type your name,
and yeah i renegaded on that promise.
i guess you can go pop that champagne now.
you were right after all.
i did buy it.

but if it helps,
i spent a long time considering my options tong.
i really thought long and hard before deciding.
and i know i'm a disappointment.
sorry.

ah ma, marg told you didn't she.
i only have the same thing to say though.
i'm sorry lah.
honestly, i really am.
but don't stress yourself worrying.

firstly, i'm not worth that much.
secondly, i really really can take care of myself.
i won't go overboard ah ma.
though you'll never read this,
'cause something must be seriously wrong if you ever do.

all the same,
you're one of the remaining few i still love in the damn sqd.
i promise to try.
that's the best i can do.

i just remembered what sarah told me,
and i just realised that there's no way i can do it.
i'd rather sit there while i'm taken advantage of.
i'd rather do nothing and detach myself from everything that's happening.
'cause there really is nothing left.
it took me long enough to come to that realisation.
i'm not wasting anymore time,
to bother trying.

i'm sorry sarah.
i wasted your msgs replying to dumb questions.

it seems sorry is the one word i keep saying.
and yet that little spark hasn't died yet.
i still wanna try.
though i know it's completely futile.
11:03 PM
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