and i'd do anything for those little gestures to mean something.
for you to hold my hand and mean it.
for you to hug me 'cause you really want to.
and not 'cause i'm upset and you're being a friend.

i wonder though, how long this friendship will last.
will it go past this year?
or perhaps, it'll fizzle out sometime before christmas.
or maybe even after october, once your school starts again.
will you remember me then?
or will i be a grey spot in your memory.

i still remember all your promises.
just today, you promised me so much.
but honestly, can you deliver them?
what's the chance of you remembering 3, 4, 5 years from now?
will i still be your little sister then?

please please please do me a huge favour.
don't hold my hands.
don't put your arms around me.
don't lie with me on your bed.
when it means nothing to you.
don't give me hope to crush it.

ah well.
i'm happy today.
hell, i'm happy everyday now.
that'a pretty big change.
thankyou, you big kid.
i love you a ton man.

i was a little earlier to church.
i'm sorry lah eugene, but it's better than last week.
heh.
i'll really try to be on time man.

joshua's a huge eeyer. heh.
"i can't eat man, my mum said i'm fat."
"you?! fat?! please lah. come i treat you."joshua.
and then he squeezed my shoulder.
bloody hell, joshua you are freaking strong man.
ah well, i still love you as well.
and no, i didn't get a treat.
'cause i wouldn't eat.
the food was damn tempting though.
ah well.

went to coffebean to study with my new study buddy, edward!
nick wouldn't join us, ah well.
i am a horrible person. heh.
edward promised mel and jo that he'd make me study.
in the end, i convinced him to walk around with me.
we went to chartwell drive park and talked.
before trying to walk through jalan binchang to get home many hours later.
needless to say, we got lost real bad.
we kept heading into deadends.
maybe you could have squeezed out sweat from our tops.
and well, my feet were killing me.
i've learnt a lesson, don't wear slippers when you're gonna walk.
wear shoes man, they're way more comfortable.

mel ain't watching with us tmr.
i really feel like whining.
i'm gonna lie and say jo's coming as well.
to assure dad i won't be the only girl.
'cause edward said he'll bring me on friday otherwise.
but nick wants to watch and oh well.
i don't wanna back out as well.
i'd rather get into trouble.

i'm gonna be an idiot and wear a dress shirt on friday.
what's more it's gonna be edward's super huge one, probably.
i'm crazy, really i am.

'cause i'd do anything and everything for you.
and i'd smile even if i'm hurting,
just so you'll be satisfied.

edit.
i met noelle while heading to the park.
according to edward, my face lit up.
man, i miss that girl tons.
it's good to see her.
ah well, noelle's an angel.
heh. i think she'd puke if she read that.
endedit.
10:04 PM
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