i believe i'm the only crazy cedarian who's not studying, who can't be bothered about her papers at all, and who's going out to have fun during this exam period.
in fact, i just got home.
and i would have stayed out longer if edward hadn't forced me home.
i love being with them lah, what can i say other than that?

ge and chem was pure rubbish.
i have nothing better to say about it frankly.
i didn't study, so i'm not gonna bother worrying if i'll pass.
if i fail, so be it man, i didn't want to care about it anyway.
hell, i was falling asleep during both papers and happily writing rubbish.

went to edward's house with lunch after the paper.
i was about to sleep but we had to leave for the stadium.
turns out track was off limits so we went to the gym instead.
exercising with edward, mel and nick is damn fun.
"how many laps did you do man?"
"6" mel.
"9" edward.
"shit man, i just did 1.1." nick.

i stoned at the street soccer court.
i tried studying, really i did.
but nothing went into my head, so i gave up.
settled for watching them play instead.
joshua was high, 'cause of his duck rice or so he said.
the other teams were scary,
i think ben got pissed with them, oh well.
"alphonso.. alphonso!"
dude, the guy's name is alphonsus lah.

mum and dad thinks that eXcess is a horrible influence on me.
especially edward, nick, mel, and ben.
just 'cause they drink and/or smoke.
oh, and i guess 'cause i'll stay out till 'late' when i'm with them.
though honestly speaking,
my idea of late and their idea of late is extremely different.
to them, as long as it's dark, it's late.
to me, there's no such thing as a specific time for late.
ah well.

i love edward's mum man.
"edward, what's this? how many times must i tell you not to buy such drinks."
apparently, hooch is not real alcohol and is taking up space in the fridge.
you wanna drink, drink properly. drink beer.
and fyi, the hooch wasn't even edward's.
i'm betting it was eugene's.
and every time chris and nick go over to drink,
she asks if they want more beer and pizza.
oh and no wine either.
'cause wine is class, and they have no class.
it's hilarious, really.

i wanna jog again tmr.
all this exercising is contagious.

i can't seem to get myself into exam mode.
and frankly, i don't give a damn already.
next year's gonna be worse.
why worry now?

joshua's a horrible cop man.
heh. slacker.
hell, they all are lah.
but so am i, which is probably why i fit in?
or do i really?

so if you need anything i'll try to help you as far as i can.
that's why i love this guy to bits.
and knowing that it applies to the other guys as well.
it's like a band of protectors.
only i still have to fight my own battles.
they just cheer me up if i lose,
and celebrate with me if i win.
but they still protect me from whatever else they can.


"see, now i'm giving you the ring. take it as a gift from me, not her. so it's no longer sad, it's happy. 'cause i'm giving it to you. or something to that extent."
you wouldn't happen to know what almost happened would you?
"you want me to hug you? you can pretend i'm your baby."
man, sometimes i wanna shake sense into your head.
but then again, you wouldn't know.
and i'll be damned if i let you know man.
i'd rather keep it hidden.
'cause once again, it's better off squashed.
and i'll smile as long as it can continue.
nope, i'm not noble man.
or self-sacrificing or whatever.
i'm just scared. and a coward.

i'm happy the way things are anyway.
no point doing something stupid, to thrash it all.
i have eXcess to do dumb stuff with.
a bunch of guys who can and will catch me if i fall and prop me back up.
a bass to vent my frustrations on.
and my baby to hug.
what more can i ask for man?

i don't believe in you now.
i've seen too much.
and i'm much happier now.
i've proven to myself,
i don't need you man.
go fuck someone else's life up man.
you've done enough damage to mine.
go screw your own life frankly.
now that i've seen through all those lies of yours,
i feel so much better.
and i'm glad.

i just kinda wish that training won't resume.
'cause np's gonna make me unhappy again.
and i'll do anything to avoid all of that.

"drink red bull before your paper lah!"mel.
haha, if i can actually leave the house early,
why not man?

why do i hang out with edward everyday mum?
'cause you see mum, he's my pillar of support now.
and he's a genius in predicting my moods.
and youknowwhat, he actually protects me.
and no mum, we're not dating man.
10:26 PM
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