it's your irony now.
my turn now, to be the one on the seat.
watching impassionately as you seek the door.
you will blind yourself in your haste.
and slowly torture yourself in your fury.
and it will no longer be my fault.
it will be your fault.
you will fall but never reach the bottom.
you will cry but never run out of tears.
you will seek but never find the truth.
yet, you can't stop 'cause you have no barriers.
is that good or bad?
i'll leave it to you to decide.
'cause to me, that's beyond good.
it's ecstasy.
my dream ended the day you turned your back from me.
my silly infatuation got squashed the day you decided i was not worth it.
for everything that you've given, i've been beaten with more.
i took it all in, till there was just no more room left.
i've been left for dead, and it's just your shadow i see.
your shadow slowly walking away, and leaving me for good.
maybe it's all for a good thing, but right now, all i see is nothing.
i miss you so badly i can't function.
i want you back against my better judgement.
the times we've had together haunts me like a bad dream.
i know full well it's not love, i just want companionship.
i just want to while away the loneliness.
your existence was my bane, and it suffocated me.
but you provided a semblance of comfort where comfort was rare.
you took me in and nourished me where nourishment was scarce.
and i accepted it all with open arms.
too bad it all went down the drain.
our efforts to salvage it was in vain.
and we gave up when the destruction caused became too obvious.
maybe we went about it all wrong.
maybe we both should have let up a little.
but really, it's absurd to bother now.
'cause it's over for good.
i know i should forget and get on.
but youknowwhat, too many things remind me of you.
there's too much that provokes the brain into reliving the days of old.
i hate the brain, really i do.
you make me wish to take my olfa and carve away.
till the sweet rush of pain takes away the memories.
it's not fair, that you have to affect me so.
and so it'll begin, tomorrow.
8:57 PM
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