maybe, it's times like these, that your eyes really open.
and you realise that some things just must be suppressed.
'cause to let it out would it be a crime.
& a devastating mistake at that.
not everything must be spoken,
just like not everything must be adhered to.

there are times when dreams have to be crushed,
there are times when hopes have to be taken down.
& there are times when it's gotta happen, though you don't want it to.
reluctantly, yet striving so hard to make the choice.
it kills you inside to give it up,
knowing it's what you have to do calms but doesn't soothe.

it brings about immense pain.
& you'd think that to move would intensify it.
but maybe if you'd just open your eyes a little more,
you'll realise that the world's not so small after all.
you're sick of the same few things that people sprout though.
but your cries for change are always ignored.
'cause everyone's afraid of change.
they're afraid of the things that come after change.

you wonder if you'd be remembered months from now.
or cast aside, forgotten and unwanted.
that happy fairytale's unravelling even right now.
already, you're being pushed aside.
you wonder if you'll last a week, or even a few more days.
you wonder how you'll survive for the rest of your life.
can you forget, or will you dwell forever on it?

you crave to forever be remembered in a special way.
but you know that's near impossible.
no matter how much you wish, you'd never mean that much.
and pretty soon, you'll be cast aside, in favour of others.
those with better characters than yours.
& what happens then?
will you be finally broken, or can you pick yourself back up again?

you did always have a knack for putting yourself in such situations.
haven't you learnt by now that things aren't always this simple?
the world's a crazy kaleidoscope.
& your naivety stands out in stark contrast.
it spells doom, a nightmare from the start.

you hate it for pulling you to places you have never been.
and yet you love it for it's inane ability to do so much more.
your mind's too fucked up to exist.
hell, it should never have been allowed in the first place.

you love to wander all alone.
to strange places you've never ventured, and familiar ones of comfort.
poignant memories invade your mind.
and scents of long ago invade the sense.
surely you've finally found heaven.

but you couldn't be satisfied.
you just had to test each and everything.
and when it's finally gone, you mourn the loss of it.
how many times though is this cycle repeating.
are you really strong enough to withstand each fall?
or will you break just like your bones?

you always claim to be so innocent.
yet deep down inside, you're not the same person.
you know much more, and yet so little.
& you've seen so much, yet comprehend so little.
you're a contradiction unto yourself.
it's a wonder how you even survived this far.
12:04 AM
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