yeah, i broke the deal.
and i'm sorry.
you don't really have to be disppointed with me.
i'm disappointed with myself.
i think melvin will be too.

counselling wasn't that bad after all.
i like(:

and i went out again.
the day before another exam.
man, my priorities are really fucked up.
but hey, i had good food, so i can't really complain.
and i had my bailey's.
the perfect way to kinda end a day.
alcoholic ice cream.

and lucien's a really big idiot.
nobody performs at a gig holding the lyrics in their hands.
it's bloody unprofessional, and downright dumb.
and for a first gig, that's not the image the cut-outs should be portraying.
damn, triple damn, the poor band.

focus, focus. i must focus.
your apology came a tad late.
though, it's not your fault at all.
you made me think though, that's something i've been trying not to do.
did i fuck your life up more?
did i really make it happier?
or was it forced happiness?
blah, you're confusing me.
but, thankyou all the same.
for some of the nicest moments of my life.
no matter what, i've always regarded you as a friend and sister.

i figured i should learn to treat it all as a closed chapter.
if only it was easier to do than say.
then, it wouldn't be so bad after all.

you know what to do, you know what i did.
since you know everything, just clue me in.
i am such a wreck, i am such a mess.
i know what i know, why don't you fill in the rest?
i will bring you down, i will make it bad.
while you're feeling proud, why don't you help me?

you know what to say, you know what i said.
you know what i dream sleeping in my bed.
you hold all the keys, you know all the roads.
why don't you guide me in, if i'm such a lost soul?
i'm spinning round, i will make you ill.
since i'm so broken down, why don't you fix me?

i am haunted while i am sleeping.
try to give without receiving.

i will be a walking zombie tmr.
i intend to fully utilise the remaining time i have left.
and mug for all i'm worth.
of course, since it's extremely last minute mugging,
i don't expect to retain most of what i'm reading.
but i'm hoping that enough stays in my head such that i can possibly pass.
my aim is to pass 5 subjects.
if i can pass emaths, all the more better.
you'll see me walking around happy as hell.
who cares if i end up looking like ms panda eyes?
i already have horrible eyebags.
so there.
11:05 PM
|