thankyou for not nat,
i love you much.(:

& yeah, i'm starting to believe very much in god.
so i'm just posting my testimonial here,
'cause i know i can never post this in the excess forum.

so, i wanted badly for my right arm to turn out like the left.
i wanted blood, i wanted pain, i wanted it to be cut up bad.
but while i was sitting there, slowly cutting and reopening,
somehow something stopped me from cutting deep.
something stopped me from reopening too many.
something caused me to retract the blade,
just like something cause me to stop and think earlier,
& choose to leave the blade alone.

i believe that something is god.
& i strongly believe that it was god who stopped me from cutting yesterday and today.

i was mood swinging badly today,
& many times i almost broke down,
& yes, i teared,
but somehow there were people nearby and around me.

every single time i've doubted myself or broken down the past few days,
there have been so many people around to pick me up.
nat, eddy, nick, mel, ec, cel, stick, jo, nana.
& i believe god placed them there for me.

i'm changing i think.
i would never talk about god in the past.
thankyou excess for bringing him back in my life.

& thankyou lord, for letting your presence be known.
12:38 AM
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