fuck you for making me cry.
& fuck YOU too for making me cry.
hell fuck the both of you.

i'm tired of you,
& i'm fucking sick of you.

yes thankyou, it's my fault again.
i'm the one who fucking committed a fucking crime.
thankYOU, i'm fucking showing you that i'm fucking weak.
i'm showing once again that i'm too fucking reliant on you.
FUCK YOU ok, just fuck off.

why the fuck d'you bother to tell me that i matter to you?
why the fuck d'you even bother apologising every time you blow up on me.
fuck off, just fucking fuck off.
i can't fucking stay mad at you, you fucking know that.
but how many more fucking times are you gonna scream at me?
i was fucking genuinely concerned you asshole.
why d'you always make it sound like i'm fucking doing it to gain?
what the fuck can i gain from it?

you're the one who fuelled my fucking addiction, y'know that?
every single fucking time i do it, you're the biggest reason.
yes, i'm just making excuses, yeah i'm the biggest fucking loser.
well fuck you then, for making me this way.
whatever the fuck happened to all your fucking promises?

you lied, you sonofabitch.
you fucking lied to me.
& then you'll just turn around and leave,
after making me hold out for so fucking long.
you'll just fucking leave again.

the drops look so fucking fake now.
isn't it just like you?
i'll slowly count the number of fucking times tonight,
& each one will be thanks to you and you and you.
fuck all of you, i can't fucking feel it anymore.

keep screaming, no one's listening.

let me sleep on & never wake,
let me run & never stop,
let me ignore & never bother,
fucking kill me now & deny me the pleasure of sunrise.

you're the itch at my side,
the fucking nail that's hammering in,
& killing me slowly.
i need you so badly now, but are you there?
the answer's a fucking no.

& it'll burn like liquid fire,
it won't bother to stop & wait for stragglers.
it's incomparable in it's rage,
& it'll melt the ice in your heart.

c'mon, let it envelop you.
the feeling's like no other
& it'll bring you to a new level like none before.
it's my euphoric rush.
leave if it bothers you,
it matters no more.
11:31 PM
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