you see, that's exactly why i hate you so much sometimes.
you can never seem to understand how much your words cut.
& you can never accept that you always make me cry,
oh no, it always boils down that i'm being too drama.
but why, can't you just bloody see for once,
how fucking hurtful your words are,
& how fucking sensitive i can be.

why why why the fuck must you be such a thick headed asshole?
you do the craziest reckless things which you never let me do.
you fucking make me worry my bloody brain out.
& your words cut so damn deep.

hey aren't you just so fucking smart?
yeah, i don't have a life or a home.
i only know to keep going to edward's house.
yeah, i'm stupid and dumb & i end up fucking myself up all the time.
yeah, i never use my brain to think at all.
bottomline, i'm just not as perfect as you, right.

i can't keep holding out, waiting for you to change.
i can't take being scolded by you all the damn time.
you can be so fucking unreasonable, y'know that?
i'm not the only one who's changed.
you've changed as well, and so much more,
till i barely know you now.

i can't find the person i loved and admired.
i only see a person who's barely there for me anymore,
a person whom i don't know.
someone who makes me cry myself to sleep most nights,
& fuels me with the reason for continuing.
you're my worst nightmare,
& yet, i hold you too close and too dear to me.
fuck you, for all that you've become man.

why d'you even bother saying that you care,
when your words & actions speak otherwise?
i wanted so badly to ask you just one question,
but you see, i just can't say the words.
& you're just gonna tell me i'm overreacting,
and being a drama queen once again.
so really, what's the fucking point?

can you ever be the person i knew again?

you know i don't have the answers, but you always ask why.
& you're never satisfied with my replies.
so why fucking bother asking in the first place?
shouldn't you know by now?
11:58 PM
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