i'm passing my bug to everyone,
& i'm so so sorry joel, alphons and ben.
i really didn't mean to make you guys sick as well.

i'm hoping to stay home from school tmr.
it's a nightmare, honestly.
there's erictan again.
fuck, & i totally challenged him last yr.
ah wells, i can't really be bothered actually.

i remember what you said that day,
& many times i wonder if you meant it.
you're the one who's always on my mind.
& truth be told, i lied.
i've just been trying to make them feel better.

& you know,
i'm tired of losing so much more.
i was thinking about it the whole day.
i lost too many friends last year.
& honestly, i miss them all.
especially you, you and you.

i'll measure pleasure by the twisting of the metal in the veins.
'cause it's my sweet call to happiness.
11:10 PM
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