are you just a figment of my imagination?

the tears threaten desperately to spill.
i don't know who to confide in.
i don't know how to spell out this desperation i feel,
the fear that's growing bigger & bigger.
the fear of losing the ones i hold dear.

i feel the gap widening between us,
& really it hurts.
you said you'd protect me & be there for me.
somehow i have my reservations.

i don't know how to help you at all.
hell, i don't know if i need help myself.
i wonder how to love myself.

i've been holding back all this while.
& it's gonna consume me.
what if i lose my mind suddenly?
the possiblities are immense & terrifying to consider.

i can't believe in promises anymore.
everyone's leaving, slowly but surely.
i'm sorry i can't be strong.
11:17 PM
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