there's an overwhelming sense of loss.
even though i barely knew him.
all i can remember is the times he always treated me to movies and popcorn & what have you as a kid.
he didn't have to do that at all.
after all, i wasn't a close relative.
hell i was his brother's niece,
in no way related much, yet he still did.

the hardest part of it is knowing his death was sudden.
it really sucks knowing that death suddenly seems so much closer.
when popo died, i wasn't greatly affected 'cause i was way too young.
now that an uncle i never remembered the name of has died,
it just seems hard to accept.

i've never been one to deal with loss,
& the fact that it's actually someone i know,
reality hasn't sunk in yet.
honestly though, i'm not that upset over his death as i barely knew him.
however, it's the fact that death has just been brought a few steps closer that scares me.

i've always believed that nobody i'm close to or even accquainted with will die.
well, at least not now when i'm still young.
now i'm terrified of losing the people dearest to me.
i'm scared that his death will be too hard a blow for my dearest uncle and aunt.
i'm scared that one day i'll lose someone near & dear as well.

what if the person who died just a few days ago was a family member?
what if it was iggy, or someone else dear?
frankly, i'm scaring myself.

but what if?
what if tmr someone were to die?
what if that someone was a loved one?
time has never seemed so short and precious before.
love & appreciate before it's too late.
it seems so cliche now but so damn true.

if i loved you more, would you love me any less?
10:13 PM
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