i haven't spent time with any of them,
that now when i'm so lost, there doesn't seem to be anyone to turn to.
that idiot's been moodswinging so badly that i don't dare hang out with them.
& it's so much more apparent where i went wrong.

when one door closes, there's nothing else.

i haven't been this upset in so long.
so much so that i'm craving something i can't have):

i think i'm mentally, physically & emotionally drained.
or is that all the same thing?
i haven't done anything but sleep the whole day yesterday & today.
& that's damn bad lah considering the pile of work waiting for me.

food has been so not helping.
i'm just more upset that i'm gaining weight.
music is only temporary,
i can't have it during lessons.

i have this urge to go somewhere quiet & lonely by myself,
& just cry the whole day.
maybe it'll make me feel a lot better?
i don't know.

i don't feel like doing my homework.
what's another day of scoldings?

y'know it sucks.
there's no one else when idiot moodswings.
i'll be too scared to hang out with them.
then there's no one else):

i want honey sausages.
at least there might be food if there's nothing else.

i shouldn't even be pitying myself.
whatever happened to trying to be strong?
11:19 PM
|